Lurid & Cute by Adam Thirlwell

Author:Adam Thirlwell
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9780374712426
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux

with doubts of the inner life

I wonder if maybe in the end this is all about the whole pop concept of nice. The nice thing is the major problem. Because I totally do look nice. I wear teeshirts and jeans and sneakers like everyone else in the history of the multiverse. My hair is gently spiky. That’s what I look like on the street or in the canteen. Also my eyes are manga large and my voice is soft. I pay attention to the way I speak which I hope is audible. And yet also for example I get way up high watching very bright pornography, where a girl’s choking on a penis and her saliva’s hanging down in strands like spaghetti or maybe more precisely spaghettini. I suppose eventually it does make me sad or ashamed or disgusted so I look away, but for at least a few hours, totally not. So looks, I’m just saying, are no guide to the inner life: it’s no joke, to use a favoured phrase of my mother, as if only my mother understands the full seriousness of the world. Everyone I have ever met, their looks were nice – that’s all I mean. If the looks were everything, then no evil could ever happen. But it obviously definitely does.

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